By Linda Ryan
Why is it so difficult for many of us -- especially women -- to receive a compliment?
For those of us who've undergone cancer treatment and endured changes in our appearance, accepting a compliment can be especially challenging.
After all, it seems to be most people's natural reflex to put themselves down when paid a compliment. Think of how many times you have heard someone or been that someone who did not receive a compliment well.
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I am 45 years old, and people tell me that I look great. I don't know if it's a compliment because they think I really do look good for my age or if they think I look good because I am a three-time cancer survivor and maybe I should look broken.
Whatever the explanation, I now say thank you when people tell me I look great.
After all, I am thankful for my life and that I survived treatment. But more than that, my identity isn't my appearance. It's so much more. Focusing on the outside appearance and what I don't have seems petty and unattractive.
Admittedly, this hasn't been easy for me. I am very aware of my response when I don't receive a compliment well. I am still working on refraining from launching into the thoughts that are lingering in my head about what I think about my hair or my skin or the outfit that I might be wearing. I am working on accepting the compliment gracefully.
Linda Ryan thought she had checked cancer off her list. Having just run her first marathon, it was hard to imagine that her cervical cancer had returned after seven years. Cancer chose the wrong woman. She was ready to battle cancer for the third time with health, laughter and friendship. Follow Linda Ryan at MeStrong.net.
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